I’m A Celebrity: Episode 9

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The tropical thunder storm has passed and now America has the chance to vote for their favorite celebrity to keep in camp for the final week of the show. On Thursday night two celebrities will be going home. John is enjoying his newly appointed role as camp leader, replacing Lou. He already is rubbing people the wrong way by delegating chores to the different celebrities. He also forces all the celebrities to wash their hands before eating. I think that’s a fine rule. Who wants to eat rice after Stephen Baldwin has stuck his dirty hands in the pot? Not me.

I don’t know how and I don’t really know why but Stephen Baldwin came up with the idea of creating a jungle slasher film. He assigns Lou the role of director and gives himself the title of Executive Producer. I’ll put money on the fact that this will be a new addition to his resume. Lou takes this directing thing super seriously. He completes a great job of directing by falling in the water with the camera in hand. Once filming wraps up the teams select Torrie and Lou to represent them in the food trial called “snake strike” to win a pasta dinner.

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Snake Strike consists of a box filled with 5 stars and 35 snakes. A decent ratio I think. As they both reach into holes to get their stars and avoid all the snakes, the snakes keep popping out of the box and slithering around their feet. It’s a really close race but in the end Lou wins by (literally) one second. To console themselves for the loss, the women take comfort in remembering that pasta is all carbs. Sorry ladies, aren’t you eating bowls of rice each night?

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For some reason Sanjaya is putting on makeup by Janice’s request. Holly joins the rest of North America and begins to question Sanjaya’s sexuality. He knits, does hair and perfectly applies his own guy liner. And if these things don’t make people wonder he continues on to start the stupidest conversation I’ve ever heard about homosexuality. Sanjaya explains that he is everyone’s gay best friend, but he’s not gay. He connects with gay people because they understand each other, but again, he is not gay. Holly hits the nail on the head, if you are not gay, you should not call yourself gay. I think she’s probably so passionate about this because she sees her jungle romance dwindling before her eyes. Does anyone else feel like Sanjaya is trying super hard to come out, but just can’t follow through? He gives Torrie an awkward hug and Janice just laughs at his attempts at heterosexuality.

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In the immunity trail Stephen Baldwin decides to sit this one out. Probably because he knows he’s hardly getting any air time compared to Sanjaya the not so gay gay best friend. Janice is literally out in one second, claiming “she tried”. In the end Lou wins immunity and will be in camp for the final week of the show.

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The world premiere of the “I’m a Celebrity Slasher Flick” goes down at camp. Great. Patti says the best line ever of the entire flick right at the beginning saying “I’m not a celebrity, what am I doing here?” We don’t know either Patti. Yes her acting was bad, but at least she fit right in with all the other performances. I guess when you are in the jungle for three weeks this sort of thing seems like a blockbuster. The Italian feast arrives and Sanjaya ruins the meal for everyone by singing for his supper.

The hosts visit camp and deliver a tough decision for John. He can pick one of his campmates or himself. He picks himself…. In one second.

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Choice Quotes:
Holly: “I am being cast as the young sweet innocent girl in the jungle.”
Janice: “Who do I have to sleep with to get the lead?”
John: “I’m about to be in a Lou Diamond Philips Classic. I can tell all my friends. How many people can say that? How many people want to say that?”
Holly: “I don’t want that pasta. That’s just carbs and ugh.” (aren’t these people starving?)
Janice: “I want you to put guy-liner on.” (to Sanjaya)
Sanjaya: “I make a really good gay best friend, but I don’t like guys.” (whaaat?)
Holly: “If you’re not gay you shouldn’t call yourself gay.”
Sanjaya: (on his relationships with gay people) “I connect with gay people really well because we understand each other. I’m like ‘Hey’ and they’re like ‘Oh, Heeeyy’ and I’m like ‘No… but I’ll hang out with you.”
Sanjaya: “I’m not like that classic stereotypical macho guy” (Really? No!)
Patti: “I’m not a celebrity what am I doing here?”