I’m A Celebrity: Episode 3

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So it’s day three in the Costa Rican jungle. In order to get the day off to a good start, Janice spills water into John’s boot and the stupidest fight ensues. John claims Janice takes and takes, but when he asks to use her shampoo, she refuses to give. Can you blame the woman? She’s got a weave that needs some serious taming while John doesn’t even have hair. Janice is right, once again. Even though she is pretty crazy, I still do love her. I honestly feel bad for John now. He said some terrible things to her and now has to face the most severe element of the jungle, the wrath of Janice Dickenson.

Ah! Heidi and Spencer are still in the jungle? Yesssssssssss. Now maybe we won’t have to hear much of Stephen Baldwin’s commentary. John’s attempt to apologize to Janice (on bended knee) fails miserably which is excellent because now some serious John and Janice drama can flourish. John claims that this fight just stemmed from his transferred anger towards so many different things? Do we really want to get into this? Does anyone care about the skeletons in this guy’s closet? Please… don’t let this become a celebrity intervention.

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The celebrities compete in the third food trial titled “Rocky Horror”. Janice sits this one out (again) because of her apparent bronchitis. I don’t think I’ve heard this woman cough once. Oh well, at least the other women are able to pick up the slack, despite Francis claiming to be exhausted. How is this woman exhausted? What has she been doing? I’ve really only seen her sitting on her bed? I don’t think much of the Frangela crew, especially after admitting to salivating over raw pork, but the image of John using Francis as an arm rest just made my day. At least she is good for something.

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I didn’t want to mention anything earlier, because this show is really about these celebrities, but does anyone actually enjoy these hosts? They’re definitely sharing a tent each night and the odd vibe between the two is creeping me out.

This “Rocky Horror” is a great challenge. Stick your hand inside a hole and get an injury. Lou basically has his hand eaten off by rats. Fortunately that great host is there to calm everyone down with the reassuring line of “Lou is getting medical attention, but he’s fine”. Right, because all fine people require medical attention.

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Yipee for Stephen Baldwin. He grabbed a star from a pile of poo. It’s kind of like Alec Baldwin emerging from a family of useless talent. If Stephen’s victory dance confirms my dislike for him, then his ever so impressive “muscle” flex cemented my thoughts.

In the end, the guys win the food challenge once again. They all return to camp to find Janice dressed as a shepherd lounging in her bed. Shortly after, Lou returns with his entire hand bandaged up, because he’s fine just like the host said. He tells everyone not to worry because his Dad fought in Vietnam, and he has finally reached his level by enduring some rat bites. I think someone should look over the definition of the word ‘equal’.

My favourite, Stephen Baldwin pulls another winning move by burning his hand. Maybe he’ll have to go home because of this self inflicted injury. One can only hope. However this show totally crushed any dreams I’ve ever had by introducing a surprise new cast members. Who is it? Daniel Baldwin! Ewe. Another Baldwin brother. I’m just about as pleased as when Patti was given immunity. Can’t we just bring Jack Donaghy on the show already?

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Speidi is officially still on the island. Admitting that the devil got to them and that’s why they wanted out. As if. They obviously signed a contract with this show and didn’t want whatever lawsuits would develop if they broke the deal. In order to be let back on the show they are told they must spend the night in the lost chamber. They say they’re fine with that, but please, please, please look at Spencer’s face during this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a tighter jaw.

One of the hosts announces to the celebrities that they have to decide if they are going to let Speidi back into camp. Everyone just uses this ‘live’ opportunity to give shout outs to their friends and family as opposed to making a decision. Finally they start to vote, and we are once again left hanging. Shouldn’t someone have been voted off already? It’s been four hours and no one has been sent home. Can’t we move this along already? Knowing my luck, the next episode will feature a Costa Rican Baldwin family reunion with Frangela MC-ing the event.

Quotes:
Janice: “Sharing my teabag with you, bitch?”
Stephen: “Janice needs to get hip to the fact” (yeah okay Stephen, we know you’re old)
John: “I’m a giver, you can’t take from me.. I ain’t a punk”
Lame Male Host: “Lou Diamond Phillips getting medical attention right now, he’s fine”
Stephen: “It was such a gnarly Jedi mind trick”
Spencer: “I’m here for good, I don’t know if I’m ever going back home.”